[GRLUG] Daunting...

[Adam Tauno Williams]

On Wed, 2009-07-22 at 16:55 -0400, Ben DeMott wrote:
> I came across this job post, and laughed... The list of desired
> qualifications and positions I found, well bizarre - are they planning
> a Fire Sale, I wonder if the job is for the Chinese Military?
> EXPERIENCE: 
> 2-5 Years 
> **ALL POSITIONS REQUIRE AN ACTIVE TS/SCI WITH CI or FULL SCOPE
> POLYGRAPH    (Will I be working from a bunker too?)

My brother, a career felon, passed every polygraph he ever took.  So I
have allot of confidence in those...

> MUST POSSES a minimum 2+ years in one or more of these areas; Software
> Developer, Network Operations, System Administrator, Database Design,
> or Reverse Engineer. -  (I can drive my care backwards?)

Hey, I've done all those!

> POSITIONS/DESCRIPTION: 
> 1) Web Technologies Software Developers: 
> MUST have experience in Java, XML, J2EE, EJB, JSF, Web Interface, OOD
> Object Oriented 

All of them?  Wow.  I'm an abject failure.

> 2) Senior Software Developers: 
> MUST have experience in Visual Studio, .NET, C/C++, GUI, C#, CNO 

4 out of 6

> 3) Computer Network Operations: 
> MUST have experience in CNA , CNE, CND, Computer Network Attack,
> Defend, and Exploit, TAO Tailored Access Office, RED Team, NROC, IO-
> Information Operations 

I don't even know what some of those mean.

> 4) Reverse Engineering: 
> MUST have experience in Cyber War  (I've gone war-driving a few times
> does that count?)

"Cyber War" is "Reverse Engineering".  Huh.  That isn't the first thing
that comes to mind when I think "Reverse Engineering".  Usually, to me,
it means hours staring at packet traces to figure out what-the-*@^&@
some bit of proprietary trash is actually doing.  But, on second
thought .... "Cyber War", yeah, I get it.

> 5) ISSO- Information Systems Security Operation Professionals: 
> MUST have experience in SIGINT, DCID Policy, System Security
> documents 

I have experience in "System Security documents".  I've written several
of those: "Yes, you must change your password...."

> 6) Senior Database Administrators 

No mention of a specific database?  That information must be classified.

> 7) Database Design and Development: 
> MUST have experience in Large and complex implementations, Current and
> emerging database tools and technologies 

How can one have experience with "emerging" technologies?

> 8) System Administrator: 
> MUST have experience in Windows NT  (That's easy I'm going to apply
> for that one... - people still use NT?) 

NT!!!  I though we were talking about a security nut?

> MUST MEET ALL REQUIREMENTS FOR DESIRED POSITION TO BE CONSIDERED. 

Fortunately [for the desperate applicant, who I pity], this statement is
almost always false.  In the end they'll take the first MCSE to apply.